Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Moving: Am I Ready??

No. That is the straight forward, simple answer. I am not ready to move. I don't want to. Maybe I Should think about moving, leaving, packing up, and not seeing everyone Either A) as often or B) ever again. JUST thinking about leaving my SCHOOL makes me sad, so what happens when I leave my HOME and my FAMILY and EVERYTHING ELSE. I've been outside a lot lately, even with the cold and the warm, just walking around South Weber listening to my Ipod. I have grown up on this street, running on it, learning to ride a bike, learning to ride a rip-stick, a scooter, most all of my birthday parties were here. I have grown up walking around this house. Sure, it's different.....Actually, it's really different, but it's still the house I came to after leaving the hospital, and the one I have come home to almost every day after school, the one where I sleep Sunday through Friday and Most weekends to, the one where I do homework, the one where I LIVE. Easter, Christmas, Halloween, Even SAINT PATRICK'S day have all been here, every year for the last 13 almost 14 years. I can't imagine them anyplace else, any other way. And the worst part is, I don't want to imagine them that way. I want to keep them this way. I don't want to leave Sheree, and Kam, and My friends, and move far away from my family, and From Ashley, from the park I have had millions of Saturday picnics in, away from the place that I have always been. The places that are important to me. Heck, even my first KISS was in South Weber!!!! My First CRUSH lives a block away! My first best friend still goes to church with me. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE i love is here, or close enough that I consider them here. I'm not ready to leave all that behind. I'm not ready to find a new best friend, and relearn my Address and my Phone number and I'm not ready to start a new school without these people that I know and I'm especially not ready to LEAVE. It's just so final. To Leave. To be gone. To move on. It's like leaving everything I have to start a new life, one that could go any which way. I could be popular, I could be the loser no one talks to, I could be the Class NERD for Pete's sake. And I like my little niche Here. The one that I have carved Here. At sunset, in South Weber, with my family nearby, my friends, my LIFE. Walking through the same malls, seeing movies at the same places, eating at all the same restaurants. It's not just something I WANT to let go of, something I WANT to leave. It's a fact, were moving, were leaving, and I HATE that fact. I can't stand it. I don't want to leave.

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